*I have an unfinished saved blog entry (written on May 2010), which i can't remember the reason i stopped writing.

Probably i was caught with something else and I forgot to continue.*

There, i think i should continue :)

.

.

.

Isn't it a beauty?

When two individuals who are not connected in any ways, who grew up in different families, who are brought up in different backgrounds, could somehow cross path at a point along the way, got hooked up and become an item, decided to start a new life together when time is right.

We only see the common interest & personality when we fall in love.

"Oh, I used to stay in that area too, what took us so long to finally meet?"

"Oh, really???!!! I hate dessert too, never a cake person! I thought I am weird, so I am not! Haha..."

Even the smallest talk makes your heart flutter, awwwwww...

Slowly, the differences in us start to float to the surface, where conflicts say "Hi! Now you know you were blinded!"

Conflicts happened but to me, it is all for the better.

Even siblings and parents who stay together, who knows you the best inside out would break into arguments once in a while, we screamed at each other, we slammed doors; let alone a new couple who, like I said, comes from different family, who has different up-bringing???

If we instill the right mindset into these conflicts, it will eventually turn out to be for the better, if we trust that we COULD be better. Taking small examples:

Now I know, you hate the toilet floor wet.

Now you know, I hate it when you always forget to off the lights before you leave house.

Loving each other, we compromise.

Minor arguments carry a message - "now i know better that you..."

 In other words, we smile, fight, hate, giggle, sleep, everything we do; we are actually growing up together.

I learn about your life-style; the small things that have not been practiced in my family, like you don't know what the hell is a can opener (yes, I am serious!).

.

.

*okay, i interrupt with a small story*

We moved in to stay together, shopping for some needs for our place, I was looking for a can opener.

He: "Can opener? Don't we already have knives at home? What can opener?"

Me: "Knives for?"

He: "Duh!!! *roll eyes* To open cans!!!"

Me: "What the??? How do you do THAT???"

He: "(argumentative) Okay, you tell me HOW you open cans?!"

Me: "ARGHHHH... I told you! Can opener!!!"

He: "Ridiculous! What the hell is a can opener?! Tell me you haven't seen one before, you are making it up."

Me: "..........................."

I don't know for WHAT FUCKING REASON, I COULDN'T FIND the damn can opener that day in the whole supermarket. I was kinda frustrated I couldn't prove to him that there is SUCH A DAMN THING CALL THE CAN OPENER!!!

So i found out later that his mum is left-handed, which she find it not convenient to using a can-opener using left-hand. She has been using knives in her whole life to open cans -_- Oh my god!!!

After I finally brought home a can opener, Fungie was like, "wow! this is like the best invention ever!" WTF?!?! BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA...

*end of small story*

.

.

If we are lucky enough to take things a step further, into tying the knot, we are opening another door in front of us. A door to another whole new sets of both happy times & again, more conflicts. It will surely be a routine / cycle towards later on, having little ones in the family.

All in all, look at the whole cycle again.

Isn't it a beauty that despite all the arguments, relationship could still progress from TWO different individuals to ONE couple who live their life, most possibly sharing the SAME dream, going towards the SAME direction?

It's all in your mind, how you look at it. Is argument a waste of time? Or is argument a form of communication? (referring to minor one of course)

What brings us together, and makes me feel that I want to stay and know more about you each day, even though there are differences in us?

LOVE.

We love, thus we grow old together.

Good or bad, I enjoy the journey of the trip towards our older years.

And the journey should continue.

Wow wow wow!!!

If it wasn't because I needed to comment on someone's blog using my blogpost account, I wouldn't have remember "oh ya!!! I used to write blog myself!" Oh well, if you remember what I once say, when someone doesn't blog, it only means "hell, he/she must be living a damn colorful good life". It's good stuff :)

Let me see.

I have an unfinished blog spot saved in Xanga, which I can't recall what was in my mind.

I am still working in the same company, dealing with IT Security training.

Fungie is still my boyfriend. (YES! 4 YEARS!!!)

I didn't gain much weight after my success from attending a slimming programme in Nov 2009.

and wait!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVEN'T BLOG ABOUT MY NEW OBSESSION AT ALL!!!

Pole Dance Baby, yeah, Pole Dance!!!

Men, being men, love watching pole dance, typical!!!

That explained why Fungie went O_O when we bumped into my ex-colleague performing in a bar one fine day. Well, I admit, me too, I O_O-ed. Who hasn't seen pole dance? Everyone has and let me ask you, what first comes into your mind when I mention "pole-dance"?

- stripper?

- exotic?

- skimpy outfit?

Frankly, I thought the same.

Boyfriend, being a boyfriend, encouraged me to join pole dance classes, TYPICAL!!! Bahahahahhahaa... okay, fine. I didn't exactly question him why he wanted me to pole-dance but I accepted his very layan-ed explaination: "because you memang like to dance what?!", reason being, yeah, I wouldn't mind trying even if it's what people has stereotype it as.

VivaVertical

the home of my obsession

no, that's not me, I WISH!!!

that's my champion instructor, Samantha.

tell me stripper don't do stunt like this!!!

But man, after attended just few classes, pole dance TOTALLY changed my view. It shouldn't be call Pole Dance AT ALL, it should be renamed as Pole Fitness. By now, that I have entered intermediate class, the warming-up sessions that we do before working on pole tricks are like... as if they are preparing me for marathon or something. *exhaustion* of course, it is also because I haven't been in sports that much.

Bruises, pain, sore muscles, minor fall has all become common. Easy, if you need to, just scream your heart out!!! Haha. Sorry, it may not sound sexy but hell, who cares!!!

In exchange to those blood & tears (exaggarate alert!), satisfaction is what money couldn't buy!

Every single time I manage to nail a new pole trick, OH, I FEEL DAMN GREAT!!! I was then very much convinced to install my own pole at home, to fulfill the hunger of further satisfaction. "See see see dear, I can do this, weeeeeeee!!!"

(Psssstttt... FYI, the pole was fixed in the living hall, not the room *piak* not exotic pole dance, it's pole fitness mind you?!?!)

Soon, attending classes in studio + practicing alone at home couldn't feed my obsession hunger anymore. I started going around places with my pole mates to hang around pole areas, literally. Haha!!! It's fun!!!

bahahahahaha... great fun great fun.

People around went O_O!!!

amy & christy

I'm really glad to see how strong the passion in pole dance has grow in the hearts of pole mates & myself. I made some genuine new friends along the way, whom we can talk about anything which happen under the sky, even if it's not about pole dance.

Pole Star Competition became a heated up topic around studio sometime in April this year, when people started to submit their entry videos online. I wasn't too positive about entering the competition, telling myself, maybe not now, I should give myself another year, I shall join next year. Didn't I expect my instructor to say, "why not? for the start, to gain experience, try!!!"

I have stage fright, even though it was suppose to be just an online submission but when my pole mates (not strangers) looked at me, I started trembling & I couldn't fucking do a single pole spins or tricks! Extremely frustrated with myself, I told my instructor, maybe I really should try only next year.

"Amy, do you know you can dance very well? You do love dancing right? The reason why we join competition is not to prove anything to anyone. It is to turn our passion into something colorful, something different in life. Why not try to overcome this fear and mark this experience as something memorable in your life? Not everyone gets to perform on stage. Just enjoy the process of it, relax. Focus on the music, your own movements, not the audience. You definitely can do it."

I was REALLY REALLY touched.

I joined the competition and guess what?! I got into Semi-Final.

For a moment, the result gave me a stomach flip. Yes, I was happy but at the same time, it only means it is no longer a pre-recorded online performance we are talking about. I HAVE TO DANCE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE, LIVE!!! *nervous*

You have no idea how much time I spent practicing. The songs I chose, Sadeness - Enigma, was playing in loop, in my mind, in my car, in my house, at work from my lappie blasting through earpiece. The pressure that I gave myself was... i can't describe.

28th May 2011. Desire Club. The day came, when I was backstage, watching my huge group of friends being there to support me, I told myself I must try my best T_T I totally heart them all for showing up, supporting me with action.

I trembled backstage.

When my name was called, I walked out shivering too. Thank god when the music started to blast, I got into the mood and managed to REALLY concentrate into completing my choreography. It was as though there wasn't any audience around me. *pat my own shoulder*

Result: Amy Lim Mei Wei, Finalist of Malaysia Pole Championship.

*throw confetti* Isn't that awesome??? :)

What's next?

I ALMOST gave up. Seriously. I cried looking at the pole at home.

I went for pole practice in studio everyday after work, for 1.5 weeks. I also practice at home. Averagely, I spend about 4 hours daily practicing, weekends 6 hours. I asked myself, "hell man, I am not freaking going to Olympic for goodness sake, why the hell do I need to go through this?!". Out of frustration, yeah.

My ever supportive instructor Samantha ordered, "no more practice for today Amy, you feel like giving up because you have not enough rest. You need rest, else you won't be able to improve in what you want to do."

12th June 2011. MAP Blackbox Art Gallery, Solaris Dutamas.

My beginning pose in Final of Malaysia Pole Championship

Do you feel the sadness of the crying bride? Haha!

Bigger audience, better contestants, smack-right-in-the-middle spot-lighted stage area.

All these were giving me indirect pressure, which this time around, I was a little affected by my own emotion I missed 2 steps I was suppose to do. Well, although my friends told me they didn't notice but I was VERY disappointed with myself, for not being able to do what I planned in the choreography. Disappointed but at the same time, I felt sooooooooooo relieved that I finally got it over.

Well, however the result turn out, I will be proud of myself for making it to the final. Come on, it is the FIRST time I join a competition!!! I am happy that manage to dance my own planned choreography, happy that I overcome the fear of performing on stage (at least achieved 80% la), happy that I gained stage experience, happy to know I have a bunch of supportive friends and boyfriend :) I won afterall, isn't it?

*gan-zheong-ness*

The winner?

*drumrolls*

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Amy Lim Mei Wei

Winner of Exotic Pole Category, Malaysia Pole Championship

Believe it or not?

I seriously didn't expect it, tears was rolling inside my eyes I hope I could slap myself, "wtf amy? Winner of Ultimate Pole Category also won't cry, who are you crying over Exotic Pole Category?"... Bahahahahahahhaa, those mixed feelings were playing with my mind thus the talking to myself thingy happened.

*phew*

It was all worth it afterall.

Thanks to my instructor, Samantha, being so supportive. She is right, I now have a very colorful achievement in my life that I am proud of. I don't foresee myself to go really far in pole dance but for sure, I am gonna continue working hard on it, as an interest.

Thanks to International Pole Dance Fitness Association (IPDFA), Malaysia Pole Championship (MPC), VivaVertical Malaysia.